Only 'Till Sunrise
by Time Lady Evangeline
Summary: "The words made him sick, he wanted to scream. The tears came, they poured down his cheeks as it finally hit him. Tohru Honda was dying."
1. Chapter 1

"There's nothing more I can do."

"N-No. Hatori, please! You have to save her, you have to!" Kyo begged.

"I'm sorry."

Yuki moved for the first time in hours, shock overwhelming him and causing him to collapse against the wall. He tried to stifle his sobs, and suddenly his chest let out a painful wheeze. It alarmed Hatori, who was by his side in a moment with the young man's inhaler.

After taking the medication, Yuki slumped down further. Kyo left, slamming the door closed behind him. Hatori and Yuki remained in silence for what felt like hours, before Yuki stood abruptly. "I'm going to see her." Hatori knew there was no use in arguing with him.

Tentatively, he slid the screen open just enough to peer in. She was lying there, white as a sheet and almost too still, and if it weren't for the subtle rise and fall of her chest, he'd have thought she was already gone.

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "Oh, Tohru." The sound caused the girl to stir, and Yuki found that the bright blue of her eyes had dulled ever so slightly.

"Yuki? What… What happened?"

"You never made it to the top of the staircase."

"... Oh." He cupped her cheek and smiled slightly, because he knew it was what she'd do if it was him. She'd fight her tears and tell him whatever he needed to hear.

"It's gonna be okay. I promise, it's gonna be okay."

She let out a half-hearted chuckle. "You can't promise me that."

"I'm so sorry."

"What did Hatori say?"

Yuki took a deep breath, his lungs wheezing slightly as he did so. "He's done all he can." She nodded slowly at the remark, taking it all in.

"So it's official now, then."

"Miss Honda, there's still a chance you'll-"

"It's okay, Yuki. I'm strong enough to face this. I'm… I'm not afraid."

He took a deep breath. "It'd be okay if you were, you know."

She paused a moment, biting her lip. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off but a painful bout of coughs. Yuki helped her sit up a bit, and when she pulled her hands away she found they were covered in blood. She looked up at Yuki, who was quite overwhelmed with the situation and had begun to tremble. "H-Hatori!"

The older man rushed into the room. "What happened?"

"... Blood."

Hatori grabbed a cloth and ran it under the sink. He wiped Tohru's lips and hands as he spoke to her. "Where does it hurt?"

"My chest… I can't breathe." He sighed.

"Okay, okay. I'm going to help, just try to relax." He brought over an oxygen tank and fit the mask on her face, monitoring her as her chest heaved with the air being forced into it. He injected a sleeping medication into her IV bag and within a few minutes she was out.

"How can she live like this?" Yuki asked brokenly.

"She won't."

The remark made the young man's legs feel weak, and Hatori led him to a chair.

"I'm sorry, Yuki, but you have to understand. She's not going to make it, and you need to be prepared."

"How much longer does she have?"

"A couple of days, a week at most." Yuki had to catch his breath, sitting forward in his chair. The words made him sick, he wanted to scream. The tears came, they poured down his cheeks as it finally hit him. Tohru Honda was dying.

 **Yep, I'm aware this is basically trash, but I needed something to help curb the writer's block xP There'll be more, so stay tuned in if you don't completely hate it** **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**


	2. Chapter 2

Kyo came back that evening, and no one mentioned the hoarseness of his voice or the slight red tint of his eyes. Shigure had come too, and they all decided to stay in Hatori's office until… until it was over.

"He did this to her."

"We don't know that."

"How else would you explain this?"

"Sometimes people just get sick, Kyo. There are some things we can't blame on other people, it's simply the nature of the world." Shigure tried to calm the cat, setting a cup of tea in front of him.

"It's not fair."

"I didn't say it was. I'd even say that she deserves to live more than anyone on this planet."

There was a bang at the door, and they jumped. Shigure crossed the room to slide open the screen, and there stood a frantic Uo and Hana. The dark-haired girl spoke first. "I detected a mess of electrical signals coming from you three… and Tohru's are weakening. What's happened?"

"Perhaps you should come in…" Shigure stepped out of the way and allowed them to pass by him. "Have a seat."

"Where's Tohru?" Uo was uneasy.

"Please just sit, Miss Uotani. I promise we'll explain." Yuki's eyes were soft and kind, though the brokenness of them pierced through Uo's heart. She sat with Hana in the chairs Shigure had pulled up.

"You better start talking real' quick." The blonde threatened.

"I, uh… Shigure?" Yuki begged, feeling the lump in his throat already beginning to choke him.

"Yes, of course. Well, ladies, I'll admit -" His voice cracked through the tears he was holding. He took a deep breath before continuing, "I'll admit that this is difficult. In fact, I'm not quite sure as to how I should start… Tohru is sick. She's been in the best care, we assure you. B-But… But she won't be with us much longer." He went on to explain, from start to finish, the entire situation. The girls went from shock, to horror, to complete and total pain.

"No. This can't… she can't… no!" Uo felt Hana reach for her hand, and turned to see her beginning to sob. By instinct, she put her arms around her friend and they cried together. After a few minutes, they were able to compose themselves enough to speak.

"Can we see her?" Hana was sheepish in her request, but that couldn't mask the desperateness of it.

"I think that can be arranged." Shigure assured them as he stood and gestured for them to follow him.

When they first entered the room, Uo gasped. Hana hesitantly approached Tohru's bedside, not failing to notice the sharp contrast of her bloodstained lips against her pale face. Shigure once again brought them chairs for them to sit beside her, then left them alone.

Nearly an hour had passed when Tohru stirred. "Tohru?!" Uo was desperate to speak with her.

At the sound of her name, the girl opened her eyes. "Mmm?"

"Tohru, how are you feeling?" Hana questioned.

"... 'm alright."

"Really?" Uo brushed back the hair from Tohru's face as she began to become more aware of her surroundings.

"Oh… so you guys know now then?"

They nodded. "I'm so sorry, Tohru…" Hana tried to stop the tears, but they came anyways.

"People keep saying that, but there's no reason to be sorry. I'm happy, Hana. I've… I've had a beautiful life, full of great friends like you both, and I'm happy. I've got nothing to regret, and, well, if this is it, I can't say I'm disappointed."

At this, the two girls began to sob. "I love you Tohru."

"More than anything."

"I love you guys too, and it's gonna be okay. You're gonna do just fine without me."

"Please don't leave us," Uo begged, taking her hand.

Tohru's eyes filled with tears. "... I wish I had a choice. Just promise me, promise you'll be strong, okay? For me."

They stayed with her until she fell asleep again, then excused themselves and went home.

 **So thanks for being so cool, guys! I'm really surprised at the positive reviews I received :) ya'll are wonderful**


	3. Chapter 3

"Tohru, open your eyes." Shigure's tone was firm, but dripping with fear. "I need you to open your eyes, Tohru, please."

Finally, after much rousing, her eyelids fluttered drowsily. He let out a sigh of relief and went about helping her sit up for a glass of tea and hopefully some breakfast. "You gave me quite a fright there, Flower."

She didn't answer him, only looked up apologetically. "My, you're exhausted, aren't you?" He laid a hand on her forehead. "You're burning up. I'll have Hatori give you something for the fever." He noticed the way she looked defeatedly at the plate of toast in front of her. "Try and eat what you can. I really want you to drink the water, though, and the tea has some herbs that'll help your chest a bit."

Tohru reached for the water, but the second she lifted it the glass slipped from her fingertips. "S-Sorry. 'm so sorry." Her eyes welled with tears.

"Hey now, no worries, are you alright? Did any of the glass hit you?" She shook her head. "What happened?"

"It was heavy…" She looked down at her hands in her lap, ashamed.

"Oh my dear Tohru, you're such a brave girl." She shook her head, and the tears she was holding spilled over.

"I'm really not." Once those words escaped her lips, she began to sob. Shigure sat on the edge of her bed and held her.

"It's okay, you don't have to be brave all the time. It's okay."

"I'm going to miss you, Shigure." He found tears streaming down his own cheeks and he squeezed her tighter as she cried weakly into his shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you more."

Once he'd been able to force half a piece of toast and most of a new glass water into her, Shigure left her with the tea and phoned Hatori, who arrived within ten minutes.

He examined her and took her vitals, giving her what he could to ease the pain. He came out and found Kyo and Yuki awake, waiting to hear the report. "Well, her health is decreasing faster than I'd hoped. I fear my former estimation was correct, at this rate, I don't think she'll make it to dawn tomorrow."

"That's not even 24 hours!" Kyo was in utter disbelief. "There's no way this could've gone downhill so fast! She was getting better!"

"I've seen it happen. And keep in mind, it's very possible she only led you to believe that so you wouldn't worry about her. She seems to be accustomed to handling things on her own."

"This has something to do with Akito, I know it! It can't be a coincidence, I knew he wouldn't just leave things the way they were. I just never thought he'd stoop so low as to - "

"Kyo! Enough!" Hatori interjected.

"No! She was fine! Then the night after talking to that scumbag, she got sick again. You can't convince me it wasn't his fault! He hates her!"

"I said ENOUGH!" Kyo immediately quieted. "She was also out in the pouring rain that night for several hours, remember that?"

"That couldn't have done this, a little rain doesn't kill people."

"No, but bacterial pneumonia in a patient with early onset congestive heart failure does."

"Dammit Hatori, you know I hate those big words. I'm still not buying it." With that, he stood and left.


	4. Chapter 4

Yuki was determined not to waste a single moment. He sat by her bedside with Shigure and spoke with her whenever she was awake. As the hours passed, she realized someone was missing. "Where's Kyo?" she asked timidly.

"He's out. He'll be back soon, Miss Honda." She began to drift off again, but just before she fell asleep she heard Yuki's gentle voice, "That cat's going to do something he'll regret."

Kyo returned to the house as the last rays of the sun dipped below the horizon. Yuki and Shigure still remained at her side. "Can I have a minute with her?"

Reluctantly, they left and he approached the bed. He took a deep breath, then began to speak in hushed tones. "Tohru, I… I've gotta do something. Please don't be mad at me. He has to pay for what he did to you, I won't let him get away with this. I can't."

"What're you talking about?" He sighed, cupping her fevered cheek in his hand.

"It's not important, don't worry about it." As he turned away, she reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"Don't… Don't leave."

The small gesture made his heart swell with grief. He took her hand in his and knelt beside the bed. "I love you." She inhaled sharply, eyes wide with shock. She took it all in, then her lips curved into a gentle smile.

"I never thought I'd hear you say that. I've always loved you."

He leaned close and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back, okay? And I'll take you up to the hill where I'd watch the sunrise every morning when I lived here. We'll watch it together."

"You promise?"

"I promise. Now got some rest."

With that, he left, on a mission of his own design. Tohru laid awake, thinking about what he'd been saying. Something didn't sit right with her, and she vaguely remembered Yuki's disturbing remark earlier in the day. She knew she had to stop him.

Kyo patted the dagger tucked safely into his belt as he approached the door. He knew that if he failed, at least he wouldn't have to face a world without Tohru. With one last look at the autumn moon, he knocked and waited.

The screen slid open a couple of inches, and Kyo saw the pale face he'd come to despise. Akito's sharp features peered out at him.

"Why have you come?"

"We need to talk."

With much hesitation, he opened the screen just enough for him to enter. "You've got some nerve, coming unannounced like this."

"You're the one with the nerve! I know what you did to her, Akito."

"Her? I assume you're referring to the Honda girl. But I don't know what you're trying to insinuate."

"Don't play dumb, you're behind it, aren't you?! It's your fault she's dying!"

Akito let out half a chuckle. "She's dying, is she? Well, well, who would've guessed… Little Miss Tohru Honda finally bites the dust-" He was cut off by Kyo's fist against his temple.

"Shut UP!" He pulled the dagger out and wielded it. "You're gonna eat those words!"

Akito dodged his first couple of lunges, but Kyo knew he'd soon tire out, Hatori had mentioned he'd been ill again. They'd wrestled a while when it came, the moment he'd been aiming for. All he had to do was-

"Kyo, NO!" A frail pair of hands grasped his arm, and he stopped in his tracks.

"T-Tohru?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Please stop this. Put the knife down."

"You shouldn't be here. You need to be resting."

"Listen to me!" She was trembling, and tears streamed down her cheeks. "He hasn't done anything!"

"You don't know that!"

"Kyo, I'm begging you." Her knees gave out, but she kept her fingers wrapped around his wrist. His grip on the dagger loosened as he guided her down gently, careful not to get too close and change. He began to sob, and he felt her tiny hand brush the tears away. "It doesn't have to be this way. You don't have to live a life of hate, Kyo. It'll destroy you."

Kyo still held the knife towards Akito. "I know he did this to you. He doesn't deserve to live."

"I don't believe he did anything. I believe you want someone to take out your frustration on, because you're angry, Kyo. You're so angry. And it's my fault. So if you want someone to be angry with, let it be me," she began to sob, "Just let it be me."

"Why?!" The dagger fell from his hands and clattered against the wooden floor as he dropped onto his hands and knees. "Why do you have to die?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He shook his head.

"Don't be." He turned to look at Akito, who was still on the ground where he'd been before. Kyo stood and took Tohru's hand, supporting her as she struggled to get up. "We're going. Don't follow us."

He half-walked, half-carried the girl out the door and they hadn't gone more than ten steps when she collapsed. Kyo got on his knees beside her. "Oh God, what do I do?! Tohru?! Tohru, can you hear me?!" He tapped her cheek, not failing to realize how deeply it was burning with fever. He held his breath until she finally stirred.

"Okay, alright, good. We're gonna get you back and Hatori's gonna fix you up, and everything's gonna be fine." He finally determined that putting the girl over his shoulder would be the fastest way to get her back without transforming, despite it not being the best for someone in her condition. Still, he picked her up and ran as swiftly as he could without jarring her too much.

Kyo would've kicked the door down if Shigure hadn't heard them coming. "Call Hatori!" was all the explanation the dog was given as the young man rushed to get Tohru to the bed.

When Hatori arrived, he put her back on the oxygen tank and gave her morphine for the pain. "That's really all I can do. I'm sorry."

They sat with her through the night, and despite the medication, she was obviously in a great deal of pain. Somewhere along the way she stopped trying to hide it, stopped holding back the tears and just let them see, see how tired and broken she really was.

Around three o'clock, she started screaming, sobbing because this was too much, too hard for anyone to endure, even brave little Tohru Honda. Because she really was brave, regardless of how she felt. Shigure held her hand as she coughed, as blood spilled from her lips and was caught in her fingers, while Yuki clenched the blankets at her feet, feeling utterly useless. Kyo stood opposite Shigure, eyes wide with shock and horror.

"Get the thermometer and wet a couple of those towels there," the oldest ordered. When they were brought to him, he used one cloth to wipe her mouth and hands, then laid the other on her forehead as he took her temperature.

"It's still rising, over 106 now, I don't know how much longer her body can take this. I'm going to get some ice." He stood and hurried to get it.

Tohru still cried, shaking with pain and only having enough energy to whimper. Yuki sat in Shigure's chair and rubbed her back. Kyo filled a glass with water at the sink and brought it over, tilting her head up and holding the cup to her lips. By the time Shigure returned, they'd been able to calm her to a certain degree. He took the bags of ice he'd brought and placed them all around her body. She shivered and her teeth began to chatter, and she tried to pull her blanket back.

"No Tohru, you can't. Your fever is too high." She sobbed, and Kyo wanted nothing more than to give her the blanket and hold her and make all the pain go away.


	6. Chapter 6

The hours passed as both the agonizingly slowest and fastest of their lives. Watching her suffer hurt more than anything ever could. But as every second passed they realized that was one less second left for her to live, for her to be there with them, and selfishly, they wished it would be longer.

Gradually, she grew quieter. She struggled harder to breathe, and her grip on Shigure's hand weakened. They knew it was happening, and she knew it too. Tohru began to speak softly despite the effort it took to do so.

"Thank you guys, for everything, really. You've made me so, so happy."

"Don't you do that, don't you dare start saying goodbye!" Kyo moved closer to her.

"When else am I gonna say it, Kyo? I don't have much time left."

"Don't say that, it's gonna be okay," his voice cracked and betrayed him as he reached for her hand.

"I'm tired of pretending. And you know what? I do have regrets. I regret leaving Momiji when he said we'd be friends forever. And little Kisa, I regret becoming something in her life only to abandon her like this. I regret breaking my promise to Mom, to finish high school, to hold that diploma like she never could. I've let her down. I regret… I regret…" She began to sob, and her breathing became erratic. Shigure fit the mask over her face for a moment.

"You've gotta calm down, Tohru. Please." She focused on just breathing for a few minutes. Yuki took the opportunity to speak.

"Miss Honda, it's natural to have regrets. But what you have to remember is that none of us will ever regret knowing you, even if it's for less time than we expected, or wanted, or… or needed. Because you've changed us, Tohru, you've made our lives so much brighter simply by being in them. By being yourself. Because you're truly wonderful. And…" He realized he was staring at her through a shimmering film of tears, but continued on because he knew this might be his final chance. "And since we're being honest, yes, when you're gone, it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt all of us, so much. Every life you've ever touched will mourn for you, and that's probably more lives than you realize. But despite that, despite the pain your death will cause, you should know that the joy you've brought far outweighs it all, and I'd go through the pain a thousand times if it meant that I had the chance to know you, to experience the light that you are. Because you're worth it."

Tohru reached out and took his hand, tears streaming from her eyes. She spoke through the mask, "Th-Thank you, Yuki." He only smiled at her, because he knew that if he opened his mouth the dam would break and the firm resoluteness he'd worked so hard to obtain would be shattered.

After that, she began declining rapidly. She was barely coherent through the fever and the pain, and despite the mask her oxygen was reaching dangerously low levels. Kyo couldn't stand to see her like this, but at that thought he realized that soon, he wouldn't see her at all. Shigure stood and offered him his chair beside her, because he knew. He knew their feelings for each other, and knew that Tohru's death would destroy him beyond what words could ever describe.

Kyo took the spot and grabbed her hand, desperately holding onto it, as if he thought that if he held on tightly enough, he could keep her there with him. "Tohru... Tohru, not yet. You have to see the sunrise, remember? You made me promise, don't let me break that." When she didn't answer him, he buried his face in the sheets beside her and sobbing, he begged, "... Please."

She squeezed his hand with as much strength as she could muster, and he looked up at her. "Okay."

"Thank you, thank you so much," he sighed exasperatedly, kissing her hand. "It won't be too much longer now." He brushed his fingers through her hair.


	7. Chapter 7

"If you're going to take her, you should go now. It'll take a while for you to get her there," Shigure pulled out a wheelchair from Hatori's storage and brought it to him.

Kyo took a deep breath and nodded, and together the three of them worked to get her into the wheelchair. She shivered violently, so Yuki brought blankets over to wrap around her. As he put one around her shoulders, he knelt to be eye level with her, bringing his hand to her burning cheek. "Goodbye, Tohru." Those words made the tears come, from her and from him. She brought her hand to his cheek. "Goodbye, Yuki," she whispered, and when she pulled away, Shigure turned the wheelchair and left the room with Kyo. The second the screen shut, he fell to his knees and let the floodgates open, sobbing his heart out for the girl who had taught him how to make his life worth something, and who had been repaid for that kindness by losing her own.

Shigure stopped at the door and knelt at the wheelchair, taking Tohru's hands in his. "Thank you for everything, Flower. It's been the highest honor to have known someone as pure-hearted and kind as you are. It will truly be a different world without you." He was trying not try cry, he really was, but they just slipped. He wanted to be strong for her, and for his boys, but this was just too much. She wiped them away, then kissed his forehead.

"No, thank you Shigure. The honor has been all mine. Finish that novel for me, will you?"

"... O-Of course. Anything for you, Tohru." She smiled sadly, and he looked up at Kyo. "She's in your hands now." The cat nodded and took hold of the wheelchair. Shigure opened the door for them, and as they left he leaned against the doorframe. As an afterthought, he called out after them. "And Kyo? Make sure you come home."

Kyo turned back and looked at Shigure, and he found it impossible to tell how one could look so terribly old and young at the same time. He looked stressed and worn, yet as vulnerable as a child. But he couldn't promise him that he'd be back. Without Tohru, what was left for him? So he tightened his grip on the handles of the wheelchair and continued into the darkness.

Shigure watched them go until he could no longer make out their silhouettes, then closed the door and slid down against it. He leaned his head back, tears spilling over as he realized he'd never again see her smiling face, never again walk into the kitchen in the morning and find her working busily on breakfast, never again send her to bed when she fell asleep on the couch after a long shift. All those little things that made Tohru, well, Tohru.


	8. Chapter 8

"Only a little farther now, Tohru. We're almost there." Kyo struggled to push the wheelchair up the hill, but he was determined to give her what little he could. They reached the top, and he stopped. "We're here, we made it."

She smiled at him, then began to speak drowsily. "Help me out of the chair, Kyo. I want to sit with you."

"Of course." He laid out a blanket on the ground for the both of them and eased her onto it. She leaned against his shoulder.

"Thank you."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, the only sound that of Tohru's rugged breathing. Finally, Kyo mustered up the courage to speak. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner… that I love you."

"It's okay, you've said it now and that's all that matters."

"I wish we had more time."

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. Thank you… Thank you for giving me the time that you had."

"Nothing could have made me happier."

They sat quietly, Kyo holding her hand. Suddenly, she sat forward and began to cough violently, gasping for breath. "Tohru?! Tohru!" She wasn't taking in any air. "C'mon Tohru, you've gotta breathe. Stay calm, just stay calm, it'll be okay." Tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried to force air into her wheezing lungs, finally succeeding to some small extent. Kyo took an extra blanket and wiped the blood off her face and hands, easing her down to rest her head on his lap.

"... Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for."

As the minutes passed, it was clear she was struggling to hang on. "K-Kyo… I can't." He panicked, cradling her as best he could without getting too close.

"Please, please… Just a little longer, Tohru, we're so close. Only a little while more. Only 'till sunrise."

"... Hurts." She gripped his shirt and clenched her eyes shut.

"I know, I know. Please. This is all I need, Tohru, just this one last thing. You've given me so much already, and I am so, so grateful, and I know it's selfish of me, but I need you to stay. I want you to stay forever, but I know that's impossible. I'm begging you, stay with me until the sun comes up."

She nodded and smiled as best she could. Over the next several minutes, she focused on breathing, every inhale shallower than the last. Kyo realized the sky was brightening ever so subtly, and was about to say something when Tohru spoke.

"I love you, Kyo."

"I love you, Tohru."

She began to cry again. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. Life just isn't fair sometimes." The first rays of the sun began to make themselves known. "Look, Tohru!" She turned her head for a moment and smiled, but her gaze returned to his.

"The sunrise, look at the sunrise. It'd be a good way to end this, don't you think? It's beautiful."

"You're more beautiful than anything else. I want you to be the last thing I see." He had to catch his breath. Even now, she was able to completely astound him.

He couldn't stand not being able to hold her. Still, he leaned forward and met her lips with his own. She reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder. This was all she wanted, to be here with him. For a second, they both forgot. They forgot that in mere moments she'd be gone.

They pulled away and Tohru took in a shaky breath. "Tohru?!" He realized it was happening, it was time. She smiled gently and let her hand rest on his cheek, and her words were between gasps, barely audible yet they hit him harder than anything else could have.

"Kyo... make sure you go home."

"I-I…"

"Promise me. Promise me you'll go home." Her eyes pierced through him, she was determined to make sure if she was leaving, he was going to be safe, and that he wouldn't be alone.

"Okay. I promise." That seemed to calm her, and she knew it was gonna be okay. He was gonna be okay without her, even if he couldn't see it now. "It's alright, you can rest now. You don't have to fight anymore. You don't have to worry about any of it. Just… just rest." He couldn't help but cry. She smiled at him, that beautiful curve of her lips that would have made him kiss her if it wouldn't have stolen her last breath.

Then she was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

"T-Tohru?!" He thought he'd be ready. But when she let out that final shuddering sigh, he felt his stomach clench in horror. It couldn't be real. This couldn't be real. "No… No!" He needed her, God, he _needed_ her. He clutched her body to his chest, wishing he could have done this when she was still here.

 _Make sure you go home._ He thought about how she'd used her last words to tell him that. She cared so much about him, that even when she was dying she worried about whether or not he'd be okay.

So he picked her up and carried her down the hill as the sun continued to rise behind him. She felt light in his arms, too light. When had she gotten so small? She'd always been tiny, but this was frail, weak… dead.

He laid her body down for a moment, and emptied the contents of his stomach behind a tree. He began to sob again. _This can't be real. This can't be real._

After several minutes, he moved back to her and lifted her, holding her close to him like he never could when she was still here. Step by step, he continued on, because of the words still ringing in his mind: _Make sure you go home._

Shigure had been sitting on the front porch, and when he saw them approaching, he leaned against the wall, hanging his head. Part of him had hoped it wouldn't have actually happened while they were out, maybe they'd have more time than they thought. But that was only wishful thinking, and it made this hurt all the more.

They couldn't look each other in the eyes as Kyo approached, holding her body. Shigure was prompted to look up when the screen slammed open, and Yuki stood there, wide-eyed. He didn't speak, he couldn't speak. Kyo kept his eyes lowered as he slipped past the rat and carried her to the bed, laying her down gently, as if she were a porcelain doll.

Momiji made his way to the house to say good morning to Tohru, but at the door, he was greeted by a teary-eyed Yuki. He stopped in his tracks, not wanting to hear what he was about to tell him. Hatsu-Haru ran up behind him. "I tried to stop him, I know what Hatori said, is she-?" He didn't need to finish the sentence. The bunny pushed past, despite Yuki's attempt to stop him.

"Momiji, no!" But it was too late. He had already entered the room, and hesitantly approached the edge of the bed.

"She… she's just sleeping, right? This can't, she can't… Tohru, wake up! No… No!" Haru didn't want to go in, but he knew he had to.

"Come on, you don't need to see this. Come on."

"No… Tohru!" The blonde turned and buried himself in Haru's chest, sobbing.

"I know, I know." Haru led him out of the room and sat with him on the couch, holding him as he cried.

Shigure sat in an armchair and smoked a cigarette, facing the window. Hatori entered the room silently and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know she meant a lot to you."

"Yes. And if I'm not mistaken, she meant a lot to you as well, Hatori. You're good at hiding it, I'll give you that."

"I'm a doctor. It's my job."

"Then how about we go for a drink after hours?"

"That sounds like something I would like to do."

 **Hey folks! The story's not over! Stick around :)**


	10. Chapter 10

Kyo laid on the rooftop, finding that while he wanted to forget, he could do nothing but remember. He thought back to that night, the one she spent in the rain looking for him. The night that, in effect, killed her.

It was his fault, when it came down to it. She was only out that night because of him. Really, if he'd never come down from the mountain, this wouldn't have happened. If he'd never met her at all, she wouldn't be dead.

He was pulled out of his reverie when Yuki joined him on the roof. "What the - What are you doing here?"

"I just… I didn't know where else to go. You're the only other person who really knows what this feels like."

"What makes you say that?" Kyo's voice was laced with bitterness, but Yuki wasn't phased by it, and he took a seat next to the cat.

"Because you loved her. You loved her like _I_ loved her, and even though… even though I know she chose you in the end, I'll always love her. And this aching inside, this emptiness that I feel, I know you feel it too. And… And I came here because of that. Because even though we've hated each other for so long, I realize now that I don't hate you at all, not anymore. This whole time, she's been pulling us closer from either side without us even realizing it. She's gone now, but I find myself standing eye to eye with you. I'm aware that I may be alone in this, but-"

"No, you're not alone."

"I didn't think so." He smiled a little, looking out across the horizon. "She told me once that my kindness was like a candle. If that's true, hers was brighter the sun. We need that light too see the world around us for what it really is. And even now, she's left us with that."

"I can't live without her."

"It doesn't seem like much of a world at all without her in it. It makes me question what the point of it all is now. But I'll keep going, and so will you. Because it's what she would have wanted, and you know as well as I do that we aren't capable of doing anything except what she would have wanted."

Kyo began to sob, and Yuki found himself crying with him.

"Why?! Why did she have to die?!"

"I… I don't know."

"It's my fault! It's all my fault!"

"What are you talking about? She got sick, you weren't responsible for that."

"The rain! The damn rain… that night, when she saw me, the real me… it was my fault she was out like that."

"Kyo, there's no use in blaming yourself, she-"

"She'd still be here if it wasn't for me! She'd have been better off if she'd never known who I was!"

"Hatori had already said her heart was weak, it was bound to happen eventually. It could've been anything, it just so happened to be that night. You're not to blame for this, and if you start thinking that way, it'll eat you alive."

Kyo fell silent and let his eyes rest on the hillside that had housed his worst nightmare only hours before. Yuki continued.

"You tend to assume you're the reason things go poorly. Just because you're cursed under the sign of the cat doesn't mean you have to succumb to the foolish nature they all assume you have. Maybe if you tried to see yourself the way she did… it'd help." His words dwindled as they watched a black van pull into the Sohma estate. The coroner had come to pick up the body.


	11. Chapter 11

After that, Yuki fell sick. His already pale skin became almost transparent and Shigure had a hard time getting him to eat. Hatori said it was all in his mind. He'd seen it many times, the young man was simply overcome with grief, and his body was fighting against him. He'd collapse into sobs at any given moment, and that often triggered asthma attacks.

It had only been four days since she died, and he seemed to only be getting worse. Though he'd never admit it, Kyo made sure he remained within earshot, and kept one of Yuki's inhalers in his pocket. The rat was rather forgetful these days when it came to his medication.

He heard the tell-tale wheeze and was by his side in a moment, bring the inhaler to his mouth. They didn't speak, they didn't need to. And once his breathing evened out, Kyo helped him to the couch.

They were back at Shigure's house. It felt far too big, much too empty without her. She'd be so worried if she could see Yuki now. Kyo draped a blanket around his shoulders. "You've gotta get better."

"I know." Yuki kept his gaze down, ashamed of his weakness.

Kyo knew how much it hurt. He kept expecting her to just show up and make everything normal again, but the shocking reality of it all broke him. He'd wake up in the middle of the night with her name on his lips and tears in his eyes. Focusing on Yuki helped him keep his mind off the black pit of darkness he was slowly edging into.

"I don't know if this will ever get easier. But you went on and on about living how she would want us to. Maybe you should take your own advice."

"It's easier said than done, isn't it?"

"Yeah. She really was something. All of this… it doesn't seem real."  
"I wish it wasn't."

"Me too."

Yuki curled up onto the couch, at a loss for words. Kyo sighed. "Do you think you can eat?" No answer. "You've gotta eat sometime, you know." He stood. "I'm going to go make some miso soup and if you don't eat it I'll be very upset about wasting my time."

Staring at the kotatsu, Yuki remembered that New Year's Eve that they'd run home and found her crying with a picture of her mother. She had been so determined to make them think she was okay, she was good at doing that. Even in the end, she smiled and tried to make sure they'd all be okay after she was gone. She was so weak, but she was stronger than any of them ever could be.

Uo and Hana showed up that afternoon to talk about the funeral. Tohru's grandfather had given them permission to go forward with the plans and do whatever seemed best. Shigure would lead the service, Momiji would sing, Hana would recite a poem. There would be white lilies and sunflowers - those were her favorites. They would open the stand for anyone who wished to speak, and at the end they would release the butterflies.

With it all set in place, they left and began putting it all into action. Yuki was grateful for those two, and knew they must have been in a great deal of pain. Yet they were pushing through it to make sure Tohru got the memorial she deserved.


	12. Chapter 12

**So, this is WAY longer then usual but oh well xD**

The days before the funeral dragged on in the quiet of the house. Kyo returned to school, only to keep his grades up after his absence. Yuki didn't bother, he was too weak. He didn't have the energy or motivation to deal with all of the people who would approach him and bombard him with questions and eventually, condolences. He wasn't prepared to face confirmation after confirmation of what he still didn't want to accept.

Kyo kept his eyes glued to the floor, avoiding looking at anyone. He didn't see the fan club girls until they were right in front of him.

"Hey, you! Where's Prince Yuki?! He's been gone more than a week!" Kyo closed his eyes and tried to walk around them, but one of them stood in front of him and blocked his path.

"You aren't getting away from us!"

"I'll bet the prince went on some kind of vacation!"

"Maybe he got into some foreign exchange program and he's studying in London!"

"Oooh, but how long will he be there?!"

The banter continued and Kyo could feel the anger rising in his throat. "Just SHUT UP!" They immediately quieted. "Of course you notice HE'S missing! That's all you care about! You don't even KNOW him! I guess… I guess I didn't either. Not until now. But you're so focused on seeing him, it hasn't even crossed your mind that MAYBE something happened!" He shook his head, burning with rage.

"Wait, _did_ something happen?!"

"Is Yuki okay?!"

The girls began to panic, distressed over the insinuation that their beloved Prince was going through something.

Kyo answered them through a clenched jaw. "You girls wouldn't even care. Just leave me alone, and leave him alone too! He doesn't need to deal with you right now."

"You can't just say something like that then not explain!" A girl with long reddish hair approached from behind them. "My name is Motoko Minagawa, President of the Prince Yuki Fan Club. I beseech you, tell us what's wrong with our dear Yuki. We only want to know because we care for him!"

"You think you care for him?! You don't even know what that means!"

"If you tell us, maybe we could help!"

"Help?" A satirical smile played at his lips. "There's nothing that can help the pain he's experiencing right now. There's no medication, no magic cure for something like this. And even if there were, you sure as hell wouldn't have it. Yuki… Yuki's at home. He's not ready to come back yet, and he can take his damn time." Kyo decided there was nothing more to say and pushed past them to get to his next class.

A couple of hours later, there was a knock at the door of Shigure's house. Yuki was lying on his side on the couch, staring at the blank television screen. Shigure got up from his work to open it, curious as to who could be. On his front porch stood four girls holding gifts, and from their uniforms he assumed they were from the high school.

"Hello there. What can I help you with?"

"Uh… We just… We heard Yuki's having a hard time, so we wanted to see him and let him know we're here for him." Motoko kept her eyes glued on the floor.

"Ah, I see. Well, he's been sick, and with everything that's happened, I'm not sure if he's ready to speak with anyone. But I'll ask him, if you're willing to wait here for a moment."

"Of course." The door closed again, and the girls looked at each other.

" 'With everything that's happened'? What does that mean?"

"He said he was sick, too. I hope he's okay!"

Shigure sat on the couch beside Yuki's feet. "Yuki, there are some people here to see you. Are you up for it?" Yuki looked up at him, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Who are they?"

"I'm not sure, they didn't say. Would you like me to ask?" Yuki sat up and straightened his hair.

"I'll go meet them."

Standing up, he steadied himself for a moment before going to the door. The girls were surprised to see him, taken aback by his frail and disheveled appearance.

"Y-Yuki!" Number 2 was the first to speak, but Motoko cut her off after getting over her initial shock.

"We noticed you weren't at school, and we were worried. We… we brought gifts for you, hopefully they'll cheer you up."

"How kind of you to think of me." He smiled, but Motoko realized his smile was hollow and fake. It wasn't like the one she saw that day in front of the school, it was different. Sad. She'd even go so far as to say it was lonely. "You can come in, if you'd like." Stunned by the invitation, it took a moment for her to register that he was holding the screen open for them to enter.

"O-Oh, are you sure? We don't want to intrude."

"Not at all, it'd be nice to chat."

Hesitantly, they entered and laid their gifts on the kotatsu. The girls sat around it, but Motoko was still nervous about being in his house. "Miss Minagawa? You can sit here if you want." He gestured to the spot on the couch next to him, and she could keep the blush off her cheeks.

"Th-Thank you." She sat down and stared at her hands in her lap.

"So, how has school been for you ladies?"

The small talk ensued, but Motoko wasn't paying attention to what was said. None of it mattered, what mattered was the was Yuki held himself, the way his eyes had sunken in ever so slightly and they were missing the life they had held before. He was thin and paler than she'd ever seen him. She knew that none of the conversation mattered to Yuki, either. He had something else, something much more important, on his mind.

"Um… Yuki?"

"Yes Miss Minagawa?"

"Is there… I mean… If there's something you're struggling with, we're willing to listen. You… You don't have to pretend."

He sighed with a sad smile. "I suppose I'm not as good at hiding it as I thought. Or maybe I just became too accustomed to being myself with her always around…" The tears in his eyes betrayed him. Vice President Minami was angry, and Motoko could tell what she was thinking.

"Her? Are you talking about Tohru? What did she do?! Oh, that little sk-"

"Shut up, Minami."

"Wh-What? I'm just saying, if she did someth-"

"I said _shut up._ " She could see it in his eyes, the pain that shot through them at the mention of her name. It wasn't the pain of having someone walk away. It was the pain of having them _ripped_ away.

"Thank you, Miss Minagawa. It's… It's a difficult thing." Tears welled in his eyes and it frustrated him, he couldn't cry in front of these girls.

"Yuki, what happened?"

"Miss Honda… She died six days ago. She got sick, and she didn't get better."

That thought had been in Motoko's mind, but she had thought that was something far too terrible to be true. She covered her mouth as the realization struck her. They had been so awful to Tohru… but now here they were, bringing him gifts and making small talk as if it would make a difference. Kyo had been right, there was nothing they or anyone else could do to ease this pain. He needed _her_.

"I'm… I'm so sorry."

"I miss her dearly, it's still so hard to believe… I-" He was cut off by a wheeze in his chest.

"Yuki?!"

"Are you alright?!"

"Water?! Do you need water?"

He continued to struggle for air, and Shigure heard the commotion from his study. With lightning speed he grabbed the inhaler from the counter and rushed into the room. Motoko stood to give them space, horrified by what was happening. But Shigure was well-accustomed to this, and after helping him take his inhaler, he made sure his breathing returned to somewhat normal before turning to the girls.

"He's alright now, it's not uncommon for that to happen." He laid a hand on the boy's forehead. "Though I do think it's time you get to bed, Yuki. You've got a fever coming on, and you want to be well for tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Vice President elbowed Number 2 when she spoke, and Yuki looked up.

"Tomorrow is the memorial service for Miss Honda. You're all welcome to come if you want. I'm sure she'd like that."

"O-Oh. Okay. We'll… We'll be there. Thank you." Motoko stumbled over her words until she finally said goodbye and they all left together.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day came quickly, and Kyo paused to look at himself in the mirror, dressed completely in black. The dark circles under his eyes revealed his lack of sleep in the past days. There was never a moment when she wasn't on his mind.

At the bottom of the stairs, Yuki and Shigure were waiting for him. None of them spoke on the way to the funeral, each drowning in their own thoughts. And when they arrived, no one wanted to be the first to get out of the car.

"I can't do this."

"Kyo, please," Shigure, the voice of reason these days, turned to face the cat in the back seat. "I know it's hard. But this will be good. A lot of work has gone into making sure she'll be remembered as who she really was.

 _Was._

The word echoed in his mind, over and over. He bit his lip to try and stop the tears from coming, but it was no use.

"Why wasn't it me?! I deserved to die, she never did anything!" Before they could try and reassure him, he got out of the car and went around the back. He found a small courtyard with a garden, and sat down on a bench.

For a moment, he imagined her sitting next to him. Her beautiful pale skin and long brown hair, the sunlight leaving a gentle pink flush on her cheeks. "Y-You should be here." He knew he was speaking to the air, he knew that, but somehow just speaking out loud made him feel a little less empty. So he continued, saying the things he wish he would have said when she was still with him.

"I don't want to do this, I don't want to go in there. Because once I do, it's real. And I don't want that. I just… I just want to go home. You said we'd stay together, Tohru, what happened to that?! What happened?" Tears streamed down his cheeks, and his voice was tight. " I… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I miss you. I miss you so much. I can't… I know I'm supposed to keep going, and I'm trying, oh Tohru, I'm trying so hard. Forgive me, forgive me for what I did to you. Except… except I know you never blamed me. I think that makes it hurt more, you were always so damn happy! And you cared so much, way more than I thought anyone ever could. I don't want to say goodbye, I can't. Please, just… just come home."

He hadn't realized that someone had joined him in the garden until he heard her voice. "Kyo? Are you okay?" He looked up to see little Kisa beside him, timid as ever.

"I don't know anymore."

The little girl came and sat beside him quietly. "There's nothing I can say to make it easier. I'm sorry."

"Thank you… for understanding that. People keep saying they're sorry, that it's gonna be fine, but what the hell kind of good does that do?! It doesn't bring her back, it doesn't make it hurt any less."

"I know." She bit her lip and forced back her tears - at least someone was good at that. They sat in silence a little while longer. "It's going to start soon. We need to go inside, Sissy would be sad if you missed it."

"Yeah… Yeah, okay." He stood and they walked together. Shigure was relieved to see them as he gathered his notes to begin.

"Welcome, everyone. We're here together to celebrate the life of Tohru Honda, a bright-eyed young girl with a passion for life and for others. She was taken quite too soon from this world, much like her mother Kyoko." Shigure's talent with words became apparent as he spoke, and it wasn't long before there wasn't a dry eye in the entire room.

The service went as planned, and Shigure opened up the podium for anyone who wished to speak. Tohru's grandfather came first, the old man was tired and gray, but still he smiled.

"I never imagined that I'd have to stand here, in front of all of you, for Tohru. She was the ultimate joy in my son's life in the last couple years of his life. It… breaks my heart that with her, the last candle of his family is put out. She really was a different kind of girl, always smiling, no matter what. Even when her mother passed, she put her own sadness aside and poured herself into helping others."

After him, Yuki came to the front. "Hello, everyone." He was shaking, and took a moment to look back at Tohru's picture. Taking a deep breath, he began. "It… It pains me to the utmost extent to be here. In this moment, the loss is much too real." He looked down at his notes, then pushed them aside. "Mr. Honda said that the last candle of his son's family was put out. B-But I don't see it that way at all. Yes, not having her with us is painful, and it feels like we're in darkness, but if you just take a moment to breathe, you can feel the warmth of her existence still with us," Yuki faltered, and Kyo was the first to be by his side and steady him.

"It's okay, it's alright. Do you need to sit?" The silver-haired boy shook his head and bit his lip, tears welling in his eyes.

"I have to say these things, I have to."

"Then let me help. You think a minute, and I'll go." Yuki looked up at him, surprised. Kyo had been very adamant about not speaking at the funeral. But he was willing to do it now, for him.

"I, uh, I'm really not good at this," he started, nervously eyeing the crowd. "But, I suppose, what Yuki was saying… It's up to us to not let her fade. It's out of her control now. We have to remember her, we have to keep using what she taught us to make ourselves better. For her." Kyo took a deep breath, closing his eyes a moment before continuing.

"Tohru was someone who… well, she… she always saw the good in people. In everyone. Hell, she even found good in people who hurt her. That... that includes me. There aren't words to say how thankful I am for that, and… and I don't know if I'll ever be able to heal from losing her. But I'm gonna try, we all need to try," he turned to Yuki, whose eyes were brimming with tears. "For her."

The rat nodded. "For her."

"Is there anything more you want to say?" Yuki shook his head, a tired smile gracing his features.

"I believe you've said it all. Tohru would be proud."

Kyo supported Yuki and they went back to their seats. The rest of the service went without a hitch, and when it was over, they went to the cemetery, where Tohru was laid to rest beside her mother.

Kyo laid a lily on the tombstone and walked away. No one followed him.


End file.
